Created famous-quotes (markdown)

+# Famous Quotes

+

+- oh i recycle. I always have.

+- it's a diaphragm spasm and im afraid it's heredetary.

+- i like this song. Ive never discussed it with anyone. But its a good song.

+- How is it affecting your hair? - Rick to jessica about the rain.

+- i have almost no memories except bad memories... With brandy. - Alex

+- oh yeah the dump! And you get to run around the trash piles and play! - Jessica

+- Do all of you have both your livers?! - Jessica

+- He slapped me with a mouth mirror once. In the hand, though. - Sareen about a mormon deacon, her boss.

+- How is that even a crime??? - Blake about the Salt Lake Tickle Bandit

+- Vince: "I caught you in a lie". Colby: "Yeah, well that's only because I lied"

+- Usually heavy things weigh more - Colby

+- I wanna regret this night - Sareen's last words

+- Oh theres a lot of things that taste like despair. You just haven't Lived long enough.

+- what movie was that where they used the word despair? I think it was The Princess Bride.

+- You want me to tell you eveything I know about palm trees?

+- When Will Smith cries it makes me really sad. - Jessica

+- Too bad black diamond doesn't make Elvish rope. - Erin

+- I don't ever have to move, right? That's the laws? - Garret

+- You look at another man, I call you a witch, you're dead. - Garret

+- Ughhh! It doesn't say what the year is!!! - Jessica looking frustratedly at her phone clock

+- Cat meme gives and cat meme takes - Alex

+- But what if the animal is just begging for it? - Alex

+- My heart granpa's dead - Chris

+- You're not really teaching, you're just managing future criminals - Kyler on teaching

+- In the boys tent we have our own rules - Alex Rødberg

+- I'm an old man and I just had a tropical smoothie - Tom Taylor

+- I like how they wake up. It's like baby rats. All crumpled and upset. What. You've never had a pet snake??? - Garret

+- Yeah, that bunny was talkin' shit - Garret

+- I think she was relatively fit before the accident - Nick

+- Seven dollars says you won't go ONCE more. What? that's the going rate for getting another dude to go to the bathroom. - Alex

+- The crowd's turned. We want blood at this point. - Alex, referring to the group observing Milo's butt.

+- I mean, I seriously wanna go to town on her face. - Erin

+- Cloaca. Yeah. I would LOVE to have a cloaca. - Garret

+- After watching "This is Us", you can really see why Jehovah destroys children. - Jessica

+- Marmons have a loooong history of shit-zus - Garret

+- You can't be chinless AND a goat - Garret

+- Come on guys. If you go and rape someone, you totally don't feel bad about it! - Jessica

+- Guys. Rape is a numbers game! - Jessica

+- Nick: All great artists have a process. Jessica: No we do!

+- So I saw this woman while I was buying baby rats. She wasn't pretty. But for some reason I was into it. - Garret

+- Everyone's going to turn 17 someday. And I'm going to be ready for them. - Jessica

+- I had a very smoothe puberty - Sean Parkinson

+- The challenge is two bananas and a Sprite. I know a guy who did it by accident. - Alex Parkinson

+- I used to have a big thing for cowboys - Colby

+- Jehovah said he was fond of the sons of men, not spruce trees and pigs - Gary

+- Oh hold on. I think everything flappy is on a woman. - Jessica

+- I don't care. I'll pee on him again. - Tim talking about Garret

+- Barak: In the birding world, we would call that a cloacal fart. Kijan: I never know if he's serious or not.

+- Milo: I dunno. My toilet is pretty full of happiness as it is. Kijan: It's been a good week.

+- you can't berate me for not doing a good job after I looked in your butt! -Erin

+- Maria: Wait, am I the giant penis?? Shawn: NO! My penis is the penis!

+- Guys my mind just works differently. Like I have these questions. Like, is a bear a dog or a cat? - Maria

+- Guys, what color do you think black people will be in the new system? - Maria

+- Oh that's right... I forgot women's taints aren't flappy - Shawn

+- Well I mean, I've made out with my cousins, but I've never had an encounter with an Uncle - Maria

+- Oh I've done stuff with my cousins, no doubt. - Shawn

+- Hold on. NO! You're the pink horse. IIII'm the sexually transmitted horse! - Jessica3 to Jessica1

+- I mean honestly I'd prefer a bear, but a monkey just makes more sense - Austen

+- Oh I'd take diarrhea over heavy petting any day - Crystal

+- No, you're not my baby. You're my full grown sex lady... I should compliment you more often. - Garrett

+- You know what the weird thing about that was? That came out of my MOUTH! - Jessica

+- I haven't turned on a LOT of black babies - Jessica

+- Dude, like at least 75% of us have done stuff with their cousins, am I right? - Shawn

+- Well I mean, we know at least 50% of us have done stuff with our cousins - Maria

+- Dude. I can't help it though. My cousins.... - Shawn

+- I'm a boy but that rat became a man - Jessica

+- My mom walked in on me because she wanted to see what she hadn't seen in years - Maria

+- although, I gotta say, the phrase 'gay pedophile' is really funny - Sean Parkinson

+- Poop right out of the chicken is too hot for your garden - Chelsea Stojic

+- I am not well versed in worm husbandry - Chelsea Stojic

+- I was just so happy that they were reproducing - Chelsea Stojic referring to her worms

+- I used to have blow dry my balls every day.... I used to blow dry my balls when we first got married. Do you remember? I didn't need to, it just felt good. - Garrett

+- I mean, I did know he was a Satanist when I had a crush on him. I mean what really is a Satanist? But I mean Satan stuff and poop stuff goes hand in hand. - Jessica

+- I hooked up with some spawning salmon but they wouldn't take it in the mouth - Tom

+- As an adult, he's not that hot! But as a 13 year old, he's hot... I wouldn't kick him out of bed. - Jessica

+- If we're talking about second best Jessicas: Hey! There's me!! - Alex (Jessica 2) talking to Jessica 3

+- Oh... he's trying to lure you into taint talk - Alex referring to Colby asking Jessica 1 what she's smelled recently

+- I mean, you get into a car accident and then decide to go refloor your condo, but then get this weird butt thing... I mean... who's fault is that??? - Alex

+- Sometimes I slur my words when I'm slober - Jessica

+- The only thing that could extinguish the fire in her loins was the flapping of the programmer arms - Alex

+- Oh I just ate a banana... but it was by accident - Maria

+- wait. Scrotums that I actually saw or scrotums that I wanted to see? - Maria

+- Dude. If that girl had a scrotum, we would have seen it. - Colby

+- Is September 1st national Pi day? - Jessica

+- Dude, I would touch her without her permission for sure! - Shawn referring to Ana de Armas

+- The penis is definitely the dad! - Maria referring to Peter Martinez

+- I mean, Warren is her dad. She knows what a penis looks like - Nick

+- Warren's was the first penis I saw - Britten

+- I showed you my balls in confidence!!! - Nick

+- A boot would give me more action than I've had recently - Nick

+- You are not a happy person if you want to poop in someone's mouth - Jessica

+- Do you have a square penis? Random unpromted question from Gary to Bryan

+- khakis are a young girls game - Jessica

+- I would never have my ball in my mouth. I would gag. - Garrett

+- Just from my mind-sketches, I know he's uncircumcised - Erin, referring to Taylor Horn

+- You either Rollerblade to Hansen or you don't Rollerblade at all - Nick

+- Wait, why would they (juggalos) hold big events. Isn't that an illegal profession? - Jessica

+- Well, we have to wait until April 2022 - Jessica. June 2022. Referring to the scheduled release of "Severance" Season 2

+- I feel like I have superhuman everything when I drink - Sareen

+- We will gladly treat you to a trash bag of watermelon if you leave - Blake referring to a group of rowdy restaurant patrons

+- Isn't that just anal with a B on the front? - Erin

+- I mean, I'm just sitting there speed-bagging my uvula... Sean Parkinson

+- I would've danced if I had a sister, but Derek was pretty nimble and beautiful, so..... - Garrett

+- It's kinda hard sometimes to tell what's the quack and what's the demon - Susan Keller

+- She killed two birds with three knuckles - Tamara Dražetić referring to Jessica putting her finger in Garrett's navel

+- If you think about livestock, you HAVE to think about sexual maturity - Tamara Dražetić

+- actually no, my uvula has callouses now - Sean Parkinson

+- Your sex duck just gave me PTSD. He's all around me - Garrett

+- There was this one time, pooping in the toilet didn't work, so I had to suck it out with a hose - Garrett

+- I mean they weren't attractive, and that's so sad when twins aren't attractive - Crystal Kobzeff

+- When I'm given a skeleton, I like to put the meat on it myself - Brian Maxwell

+- You have to be a virgin to be adorable. If you're not a virgin, you're no longer adorable. - Gary Kobzeff

+- I take the adorable out of all the boys - Jessica

+- Ever look at a fat person and wonder how much soap you could make out of them? - Alex Parkinson

+- there is no "speak friend and enter" for the butt - Erin

+- It's strange to think that we bonded over blue balls - anonymous

+- pedophilia... it just steals your joy - Warren

+- leave it to a fart to warm your heart - Jenna

+- Killer Flowers of the Sundance Move - Jessica talking about a recently released movie

+- But what if that 14 y/o boy's penis were the size of a full grown man's? - Shawn Kemp

+- I think the GREATEST addition to my life would be a spirit anus - Erin

+- She does not need to have the same number of chromosomes as the rest of you to get respect - Jasmine Bingham referring to Mykel Beers

+- I could do Michael Jackson right! - Jessica

+- The cold water kills off the weak mitochondria. Then the stronger mitochondria grows back. I think that's what happened to my anus. - Milo

+- Yeah, but everyone has a gun and you're going to get shot because you're such an a\*\*hole - Jessica whispering to herself about Colby

+- I don't want to be involved in your knuckles finding relief - Jessica to Gary

+- honestly, it's good going home with one horse when there's two you could have gone home with - Maria

+- I'm the Eagle Man. Some of my Eagles were longer than their hole-in-ones - Rick referring to his golf game

+- we're all being groomed for some sort of crime that's going to happen - Gary

+- The Chinese and the Japanese have food that would stimulate you sexually - Rick talking to Austin

+- What food exactly? - Austin

+- Raping isn't gay... raping women?? - Atticus

+- It's nice that somebody died not wanting to die - Jessica

+- I dunno ... I think I might be the closest thing there is to my dad as a woman - Jessica

+- Man! I feel like I just took a bunch of drugs! .... oh man.... that smells bad - Sean

+- Wait... do you guys fold yours in half, is it hot dog or hamburger style? - Mykal Noah

+- Wait... what is "retard safe space" - Colby asking about what Gary and Maria were taking about...

+- We've got Braille, we've got ramps. Make yourself at home. - Atticus about "Retard safe spaces"

+- Man, black guys just aren't what they used to be - Garrett

+- You boys should be proud of what you have! - Jessica to Atti and Cohen (underage) Wilson, referring to their genitals

+- That guy was a douche. It's nice to be able to say that about a black guy - Chris

+- Yeah. He got kicked in the head by a goat. I mean... he was Haitian - Shawn

+- I think that's what separates us from the hobos. Regardless of what they decide, it's gonna happen - Milo referring to deciding whether or not to drink

+- Hocks are often times the best part of the ham - Alex

+- If I owned a bar, I'd have a screaming match every wed night - Ric

+- I'm surprised homeless people don't sleep in the trees - Bryan

+- In Italy, we light them on fire - Rosy referring to gypsies

+- Hey you guys, I gotta Harvey Weinstein story that vindicates him. You wanna hear it? - Warren

+- Well... we're both under age, so I can't take another under age person to bed - Mykel referring to Juniper

+- Whatever. If you had a mustache, it would quiver - Garrett talking to Stephanie about boats

+- I'm old. I'm decrepit. I'm probably gay. But I've got my two boys - Dustin

+- I guess I exaggerated when I said that I was straight - Britten

+- No, I would want to fatten someone up. That's why I chose Ally McBeal - Maria referring to who she would want to eat her

+- You got any more of that PISS girl?! - Elliot quoting Capo referring to Jessica

+- It's not rape if it's with an animal - Sean

+- Oh man. That's a real hard question. What's better? Cocaine or Niacin? - Ric sarcastically pondering Josué's stupid question

+- Do you have anything else that bulges...? - Mykel to Dallon

+- I knew two Ick-balls by the time I was 5 - Sean

+- Sean: Our driver's name was also Ick-ball. He never wronged me. Alex: if anything, he facilitated your friendship with the box of Tide

+- Why are all the live jews complaining about all the dead jews?? - Jessica

+- Bitch, you knew he wasn't going to kill you, because you were pretty - Crystal referring to Ester (from the Bible)

+- You look like an inferior white. I'm sorry that came out wrong. I mean like old-school racism... you like like an Italian - Sean on Jessica's appearance

+- When I was a kindergartener I was very sexually charged - Jessica