Changes in 7d2ccc8: Updated 5-27-2026.md (markdown)

				private/IFS/upcoming/5-27-2026.md
			
          @@ -15,4 +15,9 @@

             - upsetting and sad. Losing a valued part of my support team. losing progress. switching away from IFS, so losing common language to use for this work.

             - but if Jessica is right and Ive poisoned Sarah against her, I owe it to Jessica to try something different.

             - Feels like I am losing all hope of a boundary that keeps the home free of several day long circular arguments about exhausting emotional topics. Even with Sarah that was pretty much gone. So the future looks exhausting and bleak.

          -  - Facing the reality that I was hoping couples therapy would be a way to address and correct some of Jessica's toxic behavior (and mine, of course). Now realizing I might have to get serious about structuring my reality around Jessica never changing. How do I proceed? Can I exist in that reality in a satisfying way? What does that look like?

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          +  - Facing the reality that I was hoping couples therapy would be a way to address and correct some of Jessica's toxic behavior (and mine, of course). Now realizing I might have to get serious about structuring my reality around Jessica never changing. How do I proceed? Can I exist in that reality in a satisfying way? What does that look like?

          +- My behavior vs hers. What's acceptable? Balance?

          +  - Example: a safe home, safe therapy. She says everyone is concerned with my safety, not hers. But she's the agressor. What if the agressor only feels "safe" by harming others? We try to use balanced language, but this is a clear imbalance, right?

          +  - Eggshells: she mentions how she has to walk on eggshells around me and do everything just right so I don't get overwhelmed or mad. I admit Ive been snippy and petty before. But my nervous system is on alert and im eroding away. Dont walk on eggshells, just leave me alone and go be a whole person. Meanwhile, I feel in constant danger of an actual blowup if I word something wrong.

          +  - Putting up walls, shutting down. Do I really have to do the hours long circular argument? Is disengaging from that toxic? Or is that just what all narcissists think theyre doing?

          +  - Putting my needs first. My emotions dominating the house. Jessica says she has to tiptoe around me because Im so moody. It runs her life. But... why can't I just feel how I feel? Ive never asked her to change her behavior or tiptoe around me. In fact, I can't due to her self-admitted inability to tolerate any criticism. Meanwhile my life is slowly just eroding away because she openly wont tolerate any signals that she isnt the most important thing at all times. (Hyperbole, of course, but not far off). I cant hang out with the guys or work on my computer because its choosing me or my friends over her. Her words. ( Why dont you ever want to spend time with me???)

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...	...	@@ -15,4 +15,9 @@
15	15	- upsetting and sad. Losing a valued part of my support team. losing progress. switching away from IFS, so losing common language to use for this work.
16	16	- but if Jessica is right and Ive poisoned Sarah against her, I owe it to Jessica to try something different.
17	17	- Feels like I am losing all hope of a boundary that keeps the home free of several day long circular arguments about exhausting emotional topics. Even with Sarah that was pretty much gone. So the future looks exhausting and bleak.
18		- - Facing the reality that I was hoping couples therapy would be a way to address and correct some of Jessica's toxic behavior (and mine, of course). Now realizing I might have to get serious about structuring my reality around Jessica never changing. How do I proceed? Can I exist in that reality in a satisfying way? What does that look like?
...	...	\ No newline at end of file
	0	+ - Facing the reality that I was hoping couples therapy would be a way to address and correct some of Jessica's toxic behavior (and mine, of course). Now realizing I might have to get serious about structuring my reality around Jessica never changing. How do I proceed? Can I exist in that reality in a satisfying way? What does that look like?
	1	+- My behavior vs hers. What's acceptable? Balance?
	2	+ - Example: a safe home, safe therapy. She says everyone is concerned with my safety, not hers. But she's the agressor. What if the agressor only feels "safe" by harming others? We try to use balanced language, but this is a clear imbalance, right?
	3	+ - Eggshells: she mentions how she has to walk on eggshells around me and do everything just right so I don't get overwhelmed or mad. I admit Ive been snippy and petty before. But my nervous system is on alert and im eroding away. Dont walk on eggshells, just leave me alone and go be a whole person. Meanwhile, I feel in constant danger of an actual blowup if I word something wrong.
	4	+ - Putting up walls, shutting down. Do I really have to do the hours long circular argument? Is disengaging from that toxic? Or is that just what all narcissists think theyre doing?
	5	+ - Putting my needs first. My emotions dominating the house. Jessica says she has to tiptoe around me because Im so moody. It runs her life. But... why can't I just feel how I feel? Ive never asked her to change her behavior or tiptoe around me. In fact, I can't due to her self-admitted inability to tolerate any criticism. Meanwhile my life is slowly just eroding away because she openly wont tolerate any signals that she isnt the most important thing at all times. (Hyperbole, of course, but not far off). I cant hang out with the guys or work on my computer because its choosing me or my friends over her. Her words. ( Why dont you ever want to spend time with me???)
...	...	\ No newline at end of file